Hatemail, and the burning thereof

If ever there was a film I wasn't going to like, "Clerks 2" was it. You lazy, lazy man Kevin Smith. All that shit about how Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was to "tie up all the characters" that had been sloshing about his films? Clearly bullshit. This film stank of cashing in, and a terrible fear that Jersey Girl had proved Smith to be a total one trick pony who couldn't live without his well worn New Jersey shoes. To be honest, the weight of evidence is pretty damning. A recap:

Clerks was ace. It's one of those films I can have on repeat on the DVD player as I potter about the house, knowing I can sit down for a fag and whatever scene I catch will entertain me. Visually there's not alot to say about it (unless you're a film student who wants to wank off about minimalism until dust comes out of your cock), but Clerks is all about dialogue. There are very few films with such a high word count that are so consistently sharp and funny. Smith continued this good work through his next two features, Chasing Amy and Mallrats. Alot of people dislike Chasing Amy on the grounds that alot of it is not funny, but then alot of it isn't supposed to be. It's a very well observed look at modern relationships, and the dialogue, handled remarkably well by the normally god-awful Ben Affleck et al, sparkles. Here's where it all goes a bit wrong though. Dogma was a very funny film in parts, and was certainly the cross-over film for Smith, but it's clear that to achieve this he'd sacrificed his clever and snappy writing style in favour of a large sack of scatological jokes. His previous films had had a "gross-out" element to them, but this was a new level. A shit demon? Come on. Whatever the case, Dogma was a massive success, which I guess gave Smith license to make the 2 hour dick and fart joke that is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, a pretty poor film redeemed by a monkey. Then there was Jersey Girl, but we'll just be kind and pretend that never happened.

So after a massive turkey, what's a director to do? Well, if they're supremely lazy they can go back to their most respected and loved work and make a sequel to it. And how do we think that'll turn out?

Well, I'm staggered to say it's not actually *that* bad. We pick up Randall and Dante working in a Mooby Burger restaurant after the stores they worked at have burned down (Randall's fault, no surprise). To any other 30-something stuck in a dead end job this would have been a spur to do something with their lives, but not these two. They've basically just set up shop again further up the road, and brought Jay and Silent Bob, fresh from a court-enforced stint in rehab, along with them. Dante is again engaged to an overbearing and controlling woman, and Randall still shows scant regard for taste and decency when faced with the general public. So, much is the same here, but what's different?

Well, there's a couple of new characters thrown in. Rosario Dawson plays the guy's boss at Mooby Burger. It's a good part for her, and features prominently in all the film's most effective moments, more of which later. Relatively unknown Trevor Fehrman plays the geeky burger jocky who serves as a foil for Randalls wit. This turns out to be important in making the film watchable, again, see below.

Aside from the new faces, the main difference is in the tone and dialogue. None of the adverse developments in Smith's writing have been entirely reversed here. Most of the snap and crackle is in exchanges between Randall and various customers at the Mooby Burger. The god-like Jason Lee is great, but horribly wasted, as a successful high school contemporary of Randall's. A shame that his success on TV with My Name Is Earl meant such a small role. Generally the script doesn't bite as much as its older incarnation. There's plenty of abuse to be sure, but the volume and pace tends to crank up too quickly, missing the matter-of-fact dryness of the original. Some of this I'm sure is intentional, to show the characters becoming increasingly desperate and frustrated with their lot, but is also surely a result of commercial necessity by having to force in as much crudity as possible to get bums on seats. This is fairly well evidenced by the fact the resolving scene of the film is based around a large man in leathers having sex with a donkey.

That said, there's alot of genuine heart and clear affection for the characters. The keystone scene, of Rosario Dawson's Becky trying to teach Dante how to dance for his wedding day would have made me rage if you'd just described it to me, but the way it's executed is so warm I couldn't help but find myself smile a little.


So, did this film need making? No, not really. Clerks could have been left as it was and nobody would have dies regretting not finding out what happened to Randall and Dante. Am I entirely happy it did get made? Not 100%. It doesn't quite fit as a sequel to the brilliant lo-fi original. Is it a crime that it's been made? Does it ruin a fine legacy? No. Not quite. It's a watchable and amusing 90 minutes and takes nothing away from its source material. So Mr. Smith, the hate mail was written before the opening credits, but it's going in the "to burn" pile. For now.