STOP PRESS: KUTCHER NOT WASTE OF ATOMS.

No, I didn't quite believe it either. If ever I was totally convinced that someone brought nothing but yet more carbon dioxide to the human race it was this muppet mouthed tit. Apart from slurping up Bruce willis's sloppy seconds and swinging on Demi's bingo wings, his "career" seem to consist of annoying the piss out of other "celebrities" on TV. I've never actually seen this though, as that kind of show gets switched off faster than the BBC 3 "news".

Imagine my surprise then when, half way through The Butterfly Effect, I was not only still watching it but rather enjoying it. Of course, it was mostly to do with the rest of the cast, the fairly original story, the dark tone of it, and the fact you get to see Kutcher as a cripple that made it for me. BUT! He didn't ruin it. He easily could have done, if he'd brought his dopey slacker act and irritating shit-eating grin to every scene. he did it a few times, and it made me grind my teeth slightly, but it was always over before it got bad enough for me to reach for the remote.

This film never made much impact, either here or in the states as far I'm aware, and it's faily hard to see why. Kutcher surely appeals to some kind of young demographic, or he'd have been yanked off US telly years ago regardless of who he was boffing. You might get a part in a movie off the back of who you're shagging, but cut-throat US TV is a different story. That in mind, the fact the film has a pacey story and an engaging young cast (with particular credit going to Amy Smart) would have led me to believe this would have been a winner. Mind you, in a world where Finding Nemo takes more cash than Superman returns and The Fountain gets booed at the Venice film festival I'm clearly so far out of touch as to not want to be placing any cash bets on such things. The Butterfly Effect is ancient now, and therefore available on the "5 for £25" deal at Blockbuster and similar, as well as the usual sources.

Other things I've seen recently have been pretty uniformly wank. Snakes on a Plane is so breathtakingly bad I'm not even going to dignify it with a review. The internet seems divided on the subject, but internet is bunk. Wank on a Plane is in cinemas now. You're better off getting a shitty cam version from the usual sources though, as one CGI snake looks much the same as the next, and you won't be missing anything during the dark bits. Everyone who feted this film so much in the run-up to its release should take a good look at themselves, and learn the lesson that it is never wise to make all your assumptions about how good a film will be based purely on the title and how excited Samuel L Jackson is about it. The man has been in about 18,000 films, and despite being occasionally one of movieland's best lead male actors, is also undoubtably the biggest whore in the business. Don't pay money to see this, ever.Wank on a Plane is in cinemas now. You're better off getting a shitty cam version from the usual sources though, as one CGI snake looks much the same as the next, and you won't be missing anything during the dark bits.

The only other recommendation I can come up with this week is another fairly old flick, but one that alot of people seem to have missed. Primer is a belting low-key sci-fi thriller, of the rare cerebral type that doesn't come along too often. Think Pi in colour without the Aronofsky weirdities and you might be half-way there. Actually, that's a terrible description, but the best one I could think of in the last 9 seconds. It's a time travel paradox headfuck, so don't watch it when you're tired or have a short attention span, and expect to watch the second half at least twice to be sure exactly what's just happened. I won't give it the full treatment, but it's very highly recommended, so go to it. Out on DVD and from usual sources.

And now, trailers. Clicky away. Nothing that looks shit, promise.

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