Snakes on a creeping sense of doom

Were you ever in a situation when you were younger when you'd begged and begged for a birthday present, then realised a week beforehand that you didn't really want it any more? However, you knew your parents had moved mountains and remortgaged the house to buy it for you, so you had to shut up and pretend to like it.

This is pretty much how I feel about the impending arrival of Snakes on a Plane. I've been terribly excited about it for months, and now I just have a horrible feeling it's going to be rubbish. The trailers don't inspire much optimism I must say.

I'll be reviewing it here in the next couple of days, but for now what *does* look good as an alternative is this: Snakes on a Train

It pays to be different.

Blame the UK Passport authority

I've been tied up with them for a few days. Lots coming up. Starting with bastard snakes.

I almost forgot to mention Mel.

I used to rather like Mel Gibson, but then, didn't everyone? Around the time of Lethal Weapon II when Mel was at the height of his powers he made some rather good films, and an awful lot of money. Where did it all go wrong I wonder? Well, becoming a raging alcoholic is only part of the story. To anyone who read the comments regarding Judaism and the jewish people attributed to Mel's father around the time of The Wankfest of The Christ, that Mel is a chip off the old block should come as no surprise. The particularly amusing thing, and satisfying too considering Mels recent mission to become the most annoying man on the planet via the medium of producing movies, is the huge degree in which Mel has shot himself in the foot. Holywood forgives its stars almost anything. Drugs? Almost expected. Booze? Definitely expected. Kiddy fiddling? Probably get over it. Murder? Assault? Rape? A good lawyer and publicist should have you back making movies before too long. What Holywood doesn't do these days is overt racism. It's just a no go area, and rightly so. Mel's choice of target is particularly unfortunate for him, as a quick look at the boards of all the major studios can tell you. I don't think Mel will be working on any Dreamworks projects in th near future, do you? Actually, I hope Apocolypto does really well. I'd love to see Speilberg deck Mel on the red carpet outside the Shrine Auditorium.

Anyway, have a chuckle at this video mash up featuring everyone's favourite anti-semite over at BestWeekEver.

An intenet campagin! Hoo-fucking-rah!

Some internet weirdoes have made a video of them dancing around singing about how the internet should all be free and such like. You can watch it here. It includes that dick who dresses up like Peter Pan and that other dick in the shit Tron outfit. It's quite amusing watching them bullshit about what are quite clearly deviant sexual fetishes.

Anyway, what I'd like anyone in their right mind to do is the exact opposite of what this website asks. Free internet pinkos stand in the way of TV and movie companies providing all their content online, as there's not proper micropayment systems in place to make it worth their while. I want micro paid IPTV, and I want it now.

*Edit* I fogot to say that you should watch the video anyway. It is at least a bit funny watching them embarrass thmselves, and Joel's kittens even make an appearence at the end.

Eureka-ka-ka-ka-ka!

Well, this one's been kept quiet. From me at least. Eureka is a weekly 45 minute US sci-fi drama of the type I tend to watch regardless of whether or not it's any good (see 90% of Smallville, more on that later). The premise is thus: After the second world war the US government, frightened by how close they came to losing the atomic race, decided to institute a center for scientific research as a place to house all the finest minds at their disposal. Rather than put them in a bunker under a mountain (a safer bet some would say) they enlisted the world's great architects, planners, and designers, to build a typical small town in the Pacific North West of the USA. Into this town were moved the world's great thinkers, scientists, psychologists etc. 60 years on, this town is still thriving, yet isolated from the outside world, and doesn't appear on any maps. From the Wiki: "Its residents are responsible for almost every leap in science known to humanity over the past fifty years. However, with experimentation inevitably comes failure, and over fifty years worth of trial and error they have had a number of experiments go awry (global warming is mentioned as one of these).

Though Eureka's residents suffer many of the same problems that ordinary towns do, having a town full of geniuses and virtually limitless resources tends to make their problems a much larger concern than those of a regular town. While transporting a fugitive back to Los Angeles, Jack Carter gets himself tangled up in the town's latest mishap, and soon ends up its new sheriff after the old one is injured on the job."

There, that's easier than summarising it myself.

Anyway, it's an interesting idea. The pilot and first couple of episodes proper are pretty good. Unbelievably the words "pretty good" have just been used, by me, in connection to something produced by the Sci Fi channel. Not surprisingly, Eureka is the highest rating show they have ever produced because even as a Sci-Fi fan I can admit that almost everything on the Sci-Fi channel is utter, utter toss. The script writing is a bit scetchy, but nowhere near as bad as previous efforts. There's even some convincing and likable characters, although one of the best is written out in the pilot to make way for the male lead.

Now here's a problem, and it's a general one with all kinds of TV. Characters names. The male lead here is played by Colin Ferguson and he does a good job. The character is likable enough, and provides a good outsiders perspective in this weird little community. The character, however, is called "Jack Carter". Jack fucking Carter. Why not Max Power? It's clear the writing team did actual research to find what is scientifically the most manly name possible, and Jack Carter came third (the first two were, of course, Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, and therefore taken). This irritates me. I'd like to see a good looking, heroic TV male lead with a name like "Morris Gibbons". It'll never happen. The problem runs right through the cast. Nathan Stark? Fuck off.

Anyway, enough of that. This is well worth watching, and goes in the what to watch over the summer folder. The pilot and episodes 2 and 3 have been aired, so you know what to do. Plus, if you have cable it's on the sciffy channel.